


Movie Night

by Infinite_Monkeys



Series: Family Ties [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers Tower, Conversations, Dialogue Heavy, Disney Movies, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Gen, No Plot/Plotless, Sharing Earth's Culture with Aliens Can Be Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-29 22:49:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15738894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinite_Monkeys/pseuds/Infinite_Monkeys
Summary: Tony Stark experiences the difficulties of sharing Earth's cinematic culture with the resident Space Vikings.





	Movie Night

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I feel like at this point me saying "I wasn't gonna post this but now I am anyways" is becoming cliche, but seriously, this is a bit sillier than I usually go for. I know I said more serious one-shots are coming—and they are, I promise—but I needed a break from some of the more serious and angsty stuff I've been working on, and it occurred to me that real life has enough angst that other people might need a quick break as well.
> 
> So here it is... a very short, very silly fic about Asgardians watching Disney movies. I don't own anything, Marvel, Disney or otherwise.

"So it turns out the brothers Odinson aren't Disney fans," Tony said as he sank down onto Bruce's couch. Well, technically the couch belonged to Tony, but most everything did and Bruce was currently sitting on it.    
  
"Really," Bruce said politely. Tony took the responsibility of sharing Earth's culture with the aliens a bit more seriously than Bruce thinks anyone expected him to. "I would've thought Thor at least would go for it. All the epic magical tales with happy endings."   
  
"See! That's what I thought." He stood up, started to pace, then changed his mind and sprawled over the back of the couch, arms crossed. "Almost every single one I've tried has brought up some kind of bad memories. It's been awkward like you wouldn't believe."    
  
Bruce raised his eyebrows into his 'I'm listening' face. It was the only encouragement Tony needed. "So I admit, I see now why the Lion King was a bad call."    
  
Bruce winced. "Ah. Yeah. Brotherly betrayal hit a nerve?"   
  
"Yeah. You'd think. Apparently, though, it's something waaay more specific. Like... falling off cliffs? Letting people fall off cliffs? Thor stormed out around that part, wouldn't even watch the rest of the movie."   
  
He frowned and drew his eyebrows together, a more concerned version of the listening face. Tony went on.    
  
"So I thought... Tarzan, right? Everybody loves Tarzan. Dude in a loincloth, Phil Collins soundtrack, gorillas, all that great jazz."   
  
"And?"   
  
"Apparently inter-species adoption is a no."   
  
Bruce raised his eyebrows for real now. "Really?"   
  
"I made a space Viking cry like a little baby. Well, he didn't actually cry," he admitted to Bruce's incredulous look, "but he totally wanted to. It was disturbing. Zero out of five stars, would not recommend. So I picked the most lighthearted movie I could think of."   
  
"Cinderella?"   
  
Tony raised his eyebrows. "Do I look like a five-year-old girl to you?"    
  
Bruce frowned. "I actually really like Cinderella."    
  
"Dude," Tony said, "if you didn't literally turn into a giant green rage monster I would make fun of you right now."   
  
"You know what? Just... whatever. What movie did you pick?"    
  
"The Emperor's New Groove."    
  
"And one of them's been turned into a llama?    
  
Tony shrugged. "I dunno, probably. But apparently a movie in which the villain is scheming to steal the throne from an immature prince who is then forced to live among the common folk and learn humility..."   
  
"I get the picture," Bruce said.    
  
"They argued for like two hours. And when they argue, it _hails_. One of my cars was parked outside, and now I am the proud owner of a Tesla that looks like it was used as a practice target on the driving range."   
  
Bruce winced. "Ouch."   
  
"So a lesser mortal would probably give up at this point."   
  
"But not Tony Stark?    
  
"Bingo. So Tony Stark, not being a quitter who quits, gets the bright idea to show the space Vikings Frozen. It was overdue. At least one of them can literally control ice magic. It's not fair that aliens, unlike the rest of us, don't get that infernal song stuck in their heads occasionally for no reason. All good reasons."    
  
Bruce groaned. "Tony, no."    
  
"Where were you with this helpful advice at the time?"    
  
"You wouldn't have listened."    
  
"You're right, I wouldn't have." Tony took a deep breath. "So apparently, and you wouldn't know it to look at him, but Loki is secretly a very tiny ice giant, and we must never ever speak of this."   
  
"A very tiny ice giant."   
  
"Yes, that's what I said."   
  
"If you're a very tiny giant, are you even a giant at all?"    
  
"Apparently you can be, although I don't recommend it. It apparently comes with loads of internalized racism and some self-loathing."   
  
"Because being an ice giant isn't cool?"   
  
"Apparently not—agh, I see what you did there." Tony groaned. "Not cool, man—no, now you've got me doing it. I'm disgusted."   
  
"So what're you going to try next?"   
  
"I'm not."   
  
"I thought giving up was for ordinary, non-Tony-Stark humans?    
  
"I have been officially," Tony made a grand gesture, "banned from picking movies, ever. I, Tony Stark, have been forbidden from the noble pursuit of sharing Earth's culture with our alien visitors."   
  
"That's probably for the best," Bruce said.    
  
"Oh, definitely," Tony agreed. "So. Wanna watch a movie?"   
  



End file.
